At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize