Your dad touched me again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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