I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
