She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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