I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
