Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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