i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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