problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
