if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
