You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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