Pants 0. Shit 1.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
