Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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