this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
