Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
