I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
