That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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