I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
