I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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