he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
