He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
