it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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