you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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