I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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