she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
