Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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