Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
