Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
please come you make the beer taste better
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
