i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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