hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
