You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
