I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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