We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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