I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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