i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
