Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
When are your genitals available?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
