Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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