hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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