I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am midnight drunk by noon
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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