Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
