Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
