and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
