wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
