found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
