But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
