i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
