roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
