Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
