I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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