I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
