i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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