I need help removing her.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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