let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
