Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize