But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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