my mouth tastes like poor choices
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
