I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
