At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Congratulations! We have a period
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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