I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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