i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
