On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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