talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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