You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
