Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
