If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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