even my farts smell like vagina
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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