i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
