I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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